New Beginnings!

Twenty Four Hours to go. In the next twenty four hours, we would have completed another set of 365 (this time, 366) days. Companies in Saudi Arabia would have closed their books. Pubs would have begun stocking up on their alcohol. The planet would have completed another tiring revolution around the sun. And I, I would be waiting for each second to pass. 

I usually write this day's account in my diary- the 31st of December, every year. But, this one..this year, has been special. It wasn't the everyday year. It has been a special one, in every sense of the word. I call it special not because I had a ball every single day of the year. Special, because after 22 years of my existence, I finally feel like I know myself. As if, someone had just wiped off the mist on the mirror to make the reflection seen. The reflection..it’s not a blur any more. The ambiguity that comes with knowing one's self has almost, as if, disappeared. I still don’t know what my purpose or calling is, but I definitely know what I can and cannot do. I know the person that I am. Like I have just shook hands with myself, and got a proper introduction.

The past one year has been one of steep ups and deep downs. One, full of failures and disappointments and at the same time, full of experiences and learnings. While the first month of the year had managed to mercilessly push me down the hill, the last one made me rise up to the mountains. It wasn’t the best year, of course. It was, in fact, easily the worst year of my entire life! In the sense that when the ‘End of the World’ was ‘speculated’, I had actually begun looking forward to it. It was that bad, trust me! But, as though magically, all it took was a short span of 30 days to reverse the entire downhill journey of the previous 300 odd days.

This change, how did it happen-I think to myself. Was it the just the whole idea of hitting rock bottom and then naturally rising back.. or was it the result of praying too hard? I don’t know. But if I were to take a guess, it was most definitely because of the people that I had met.

We meet the people we do because we're just there at that time, in that place. Even if you don't believe in signs and destiny, you know that every person that comes into your life affects who you are. He/she changes one bit of you, however tiny. And you can take the credit of changing that person, at least, one bit. The person that we are is a composition of the bits and pieces of all those people we have met. In effect, we’re not one person.. we  are a million people in one. Each, with a unique combination. But that happens with everybody. How can all that be designed and planned out by one force? We can't just designate it to be destiny, can we? It’s just basic human psychology. Right?

But sometimes, you find those people who not only change you, but affect you in ways you could not have imagined. They talk to you like they have known you forever. They make your problems theirs. They put their arm around your shoulders and say, ‘Go get ‘em. I’ll be right here with you.’ They make you laugh, they make you cry. They lift your spirits up and help throw your ego out of the window. They help you achieve, and they don’t mind losing, just to let you win. They do all this while they are still strangers. They come once, never to leave. They become special. They become treasured. And when you do find those people, you decide for yourself that you were meant to meet them, that all this was designed out by some supreme force. As if you have been sent angels just to save you. And suddenly, you see that you have begun to believe in destiny. Suddenly, you feel part of the whole plot. That moment, you realize that Susan Sarandon, in ‘Stepmom’, was right when she says, '.. That’s how people go on forever, you know? Because somebody takes them along..’ 

This year was special because of those special people. The year was a pretty bad year for me, otherwise. I had a lot going against me. Not just a lot, actually..everything. Everything that happened looked like a plan devised just to put me down. I had lost hope of ever reviving back to who I used to be. Until this December, when I met these people. Forget going back to who I used to be.. I’m, today, new and improved. In my last post, I had spoken of finding the meaning to life and discovering one’s self. I had so many questions in mind. So much ambiguity, so much unrest. Today, I feel as though that post has been given an answer. I feel like I have discovered myself now. And, now, it’s time to start inventing and re-inventing this person.

Right now, if even one of those special people is reading this.. Thank you.. For making me believe, for making me hope and for making me love!  

I’m excited about welcoming the year now. I’m already in love with it, that’s why! And I will count every second as it passes, till you and I meet, dear 2013!

Here’s to new beginnings!